Last year after leaving a very stressful career and feeling worthless, my doctor referred me to Roundtable Counseling for Intensive Outpatient Group therapy. I was terrified when I walked into the office, Carolyn came out and introduced herself to me and we went into her office. I was still nervous and very guarded yet tried to explain why I thought I was there. We discussed the “group” therapy sessions, and I immediately stated “I do not do groups.” She stated that this is what my doctor wanted and she could try and talk to him but she felt I could benefit from groups. She invited me to come the next day, Saturday and she would go into session with me until I was comfortable. When I got there, I immediately went to the corner chair where I felt safe. Everyone introduced themselves and Carolyn was there and stayed for a while until I was ok. Leesa was my case worker and listened to me even after hours when I had a difficult session. I’m not going to say therapy was easy, it’s extremely difficult and sharing what your going through with others is hard, but I also realized no one was judging me for anything I said and if I cried it was ok, we were all there to help each other with encouragement and words of truth. All my life I’d been judged and always had to be a certain way, pretending what I was feeling. After months of “group” therapy I graduated the program, I was actually sad to leave the group. I am happy to say I am still working on myself but I am so much happier and healthier than I’ve been in years. I know without Carolyn’s and Leesa’s and many other therapists encouragement in the beginning I would not be healing and moving forward with my future endeavors.I can honestly say, I’m proud I graduated but I actually miss Roundtable and the people! I promise if I can get through the program so can you! Just be patient with yourself and as one person in my group would say “give yourself grace”!
A year ago, I used to think that there was no hope. I thought that I was going to be sick forever and there was no point in even trying. Roundtable taught me that that is not true. I have hope now. I see myself getting better and I know that eighth grade is going to be a better year. I will have better relationships with my friends and teachers and I will keep my grades up. I know that I will graduate eighth grade feeling accomplished. I will graduate knowing that I have turned things around. I would have never thought this if it weren’t for Roundtable. Not only have I seen progress in myself but I have seen progress in the other kids going there, which is a huge impact. Everyone lets me see that there is always hope.
Carolyn, you and your program have been instrumental in helping [our child]. Thank you so much for everything you have done for our family. Roundtable will always have a special place in my heart.
My memories haunt me. My past kills me. My anxiety resurrects me. My thoughts are like being in a relationship with my father; you feel at peace and loved, but it doesn’t last, and then you feel the true pain. But ignorance is bliss. Even the purest angel hides its most disgusting demons. Your nephew could be a rapist. Your father, a druggie. Your little brother could be suicidal and your daughter could be a prostitute. We all hide our flaws and our deepest insecurities to show the world that we’re perfect. But if everyone has flaws and everyone has demons then what is this “perfect” that we all strive for? This word that society has created to set the bar and set the example for an acceptable life. If perfect has so many meanings then why do people feel like they’re striving for the same thing. Why can’t everything be perfect? If that single word didn’t have so much power over how people perceive themselves and how people perceive the world. It’s just a word. It’s just seven small simple letters, yet it has so much influence on today’s society. What if the word perfect meant to be yourself and it still had the same amount of power and influence on ourselves and on our lives? Then, I would be perfect.